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"sitting, reading with Ben" If
you think you don't have time to sit, relax, and read this story
..... you
"an abheration"
"workstyle"
"the castle"
"nature's perfection"
"take the time"
"new leaf"
"life in focus"
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Following
is a story I have written about fictional characters. There is
no intention to write about anyone that I know personally. If
you identify with any of the characters within the story, please
know that I did not have you in mind specifically and that you
are perhaps not alone in identifying with these characters. In
fact, you are probably part of the majority who will. My motivation
for writing about this topic comes from my observation of many
clients I have worked with, as well as more distant observations
of many people who have not engaged my expertise. These are people
who are by far the majority of the population. These are the people
who, without intervention, are on a collision course with chronic
disease and premature death. Settle in. This is not a quick read.
Print it out. Sit down in a comfortable chair. It's a long story
for a very good reason. I want you to engage with the characters.
Feel free to change their names at the end of the story, if you
feel you know them better as another name. Let me begin the story. Mr and Mrs Ho proudly announced the arrival of their little boy Robert in 1958. They had waited a long time for their little male heir and had high hopes for his future. Afterall, every parent wants their child to have better opportunities than theirs. Mr and Mrs Ho were market gardeners whose produce was highly sought after. They worked from sun up to sun down every day except Sunday. Sunday was for celebrating the health and happiness of the family. They grew their prize vegetables on a prime piece of land on the outskirts of the city and lovingly tilled the earth by hand, fertilized the soil with animal manure from their own happy chickens, and rotated their crops with more knowledge than we have of the solar system. Around the midmorning hour (as well as the mid afternoon hour), they could be seen under the shade of the mandarine tree having a chat and a cool drink while nibbling on something pulled straight from the soil or a mandarine when the season brought their shade tree to bear. Time seemed to stand still for them during these times of the day while they proudly gazed out over their field of strong, healthy crops and put their feet up for a while. It was only a short break, but one that renewed their energy and enthusiasm for their work and one that they never missed. As if simultaneously drawn, they both would pick up their tools at the end of their break and move toward the crop beckoning their care. Mr and Mrs Ho's crops grew abundantly. They looked, smelled and tasted like their namesake. This produce knew not what it was like to compete with pests or weeds nor the terrible smell or taste of chemicals. Produce with the name "Ho" stamped on the box was bought before it hit the markets. The Ho reputation was solid and built on generations of handed down natural farming techniques. When the sun went down and the last of the daylight faded, Mr and Mrs Ho strolled back to the house with some fresh produce for dinner. They always strolled with no 'hurry' in their legs trusting there to be plenty of time in each day. Their work never was done - there was always something to be done tomorrow - and tomorrow. There was never a shortage of something to chat about to each other and they would often stop along the way home to chat over the fence to a neighbour or drop off some nice ripe tomatoes or fresh picked beans. Meals were easy for the Ho family. No need for a debate or a phone call prior to mealtimes. If it was ripe, it was on the menu added to some meat, chicken or fish. Everyone ate the same meal including little Robert. Treats were something he had rarely - usually at birthday parties and were never kept in the house. As Robert grew up, he soon responded more to his nickname than his christened name. Everyone called him 'Gung' due to the pace at which he did everything. It was either full on or he wasn't interested. He always had his pedal to the metal and the wind in his hair. He played in the field near his parents while they worked. He ran really fast among the chickens that provided the fertilizer for their crops. When he was old enough, Gung went to school just like the rest of the kids in his neighbourhood. His parents encouraged him to study hard and do well at school, which he did. Gung played with other kids whose parents worked in offices and he felt a little embarrassed that his parents worked on a farm. He decided he wanted to be a solicitor when he grew up so that he didn't have to work on the farm. He wanted to drive a BMW and wear a suit and go into the city to work. He wanted to have money, holidays and a big house - all the things his parents didn't have. He wanted to come out of the dark ages and own everything that could be plugged into a wall socket. He wanted to have a better life than his parents who worked so hard and still had nothing but the house they lived in. He also wanted to complete the picture and marry the girl of his dreams. Gung did become a solicitor and his parents were very proud when he graduated top of his class. They always knew he was very smart. He quickly rose through the ranks of the juniors and soon became an Associate. He did marry the girl of his dreams - Sequoia. Sequoia was named after the Redwoods near where she was raised in Northern California. Her grandmother was native American and chose the name for her when she was five. Sequoia was strong, attractive, colourful, and bestowed with wisdom laid down in her growth rings over many generations - as were the redwood trees of her childhood. Each day, Gung left his auspicious home early in the morning and returned very late at night. It did not create a good impression to be seen leaving the office before the Partners. Work was done at a frantic pace most days. Deadlines were always in the past tense. He liked this actually as it made him feel alive, successful and important. The challenges were knocked over like ten pins and he looked for the next test before the dust had even laid. He oozed an air of success proudly as he sat behind his large, solid desk using his 'success' pen with the little white beacon on the top, and learned how to play the corporate game. So busy was he that he didn't have time for snacks or meals and the coffee breaks became an all day intravenous feed of caffeine. If he was really hungry, he would grab a muffin in the morning or a sandwich to get him through the afternoon. If he didn't get out of the office for any meals, he'd grab a chocolate bar from the dispenser thoughtfully provided by the company. If he was thirsty, he'd have a Coke - also within easy reach from the dispenser. Dinners were more often had at restaurants because he could afford to do this - a sure sign of success - and he often combined this mealtime with work. He was smart and figured that it was more economical use of time if work and meals were combined. Invariably a good bottle of wine was bought to impress and consume. The journey home at the end of the day was always a few hours past sunset. Rarely did he see his house in daylight. Coincidentally he missed the twilight madness of the house: the feeding and bathing of the kids, homework hassles, and school dramas. His family saw less and less of him, but that seemed justifiable because they would all be together when they went overseas to France at the end of the year. Not too many children could boast that. So
tired of work was he by the time he got home that he didn't want
to talk about it (or anything) when he changed gear from "full
on" to "full stop" in the lounge chair with a glass
of wine to help him wind down. He had made a commitment that he
would not bring work worries home. There was nothing else in his
life other than work. The conversation void with his wife was
filled with television. He definitely didn't want to hear about
how the kids misbehaved in school and have to come up with a solution.
His day was just spent trying to save a company from a $12 million
liable suit. It wasn't long before there was nothing to talk about
with his wife of 15 years. Soon the Company dinners became a job
for her also. The glue between them was disolving. After doing a couple of fun runs, he contemplated doing a marathon or an ironman event. There were some other 'successful men older than him' that he knew who were doing these marathon events. He wanted to be in the club. There were the 'golfing execs' and THEN there were the 'marathon running execs' - two very different classes of success. He thought this might be good for him - to test his metal. Unfortunately his achilles tendon flared up so badly that he had to shelve that idea. This was soon replaced with the desire to change his now rather round bodyshape to a "he-man" muscle shape - all in just 12 weeks! Gym membership, training gear to look the part, loads of iron to lift, his usual 'Gung Ho' attitude and he was ready to blast his body onto the cover of a 'health magazine'. With loads of money to match the focus on his body, he bought every 'enhancement' he could put in his body: maxi-gain muscle formulas and mini-mize fat formulas. He saw the photos. He wanted the same results. Being a smart man, he enlisted the help of a trainer who managed to get a few more kilos onto the bar and a few more repetitions out of him when he couldn't. At 8 weeks into the program, when the changes weren't happening fast enough, they talked about 'enhancers'. Products that: speed the metabolism, grow more muscle, shift more fat, and dehydrate at the end of the program for the photo shoot. None of the risks were mentioned. He took to the program like a religion and even ate less than the dietary recommendations and lifted more than the program suggested to get even better results - faster. This was his nature and the key to a lot of his success. One month after completing this intensive boot camp to get his 'body for life', he was back to his old habits without even realizing that he was working more and gyming less. He continued to run each morning, though. If the pain in his knee or achilles got too bad, he took an anti-inflammatory and it went away. The belly grew back as if ready for the long gestation period ahead. It was growing with every dinner meeting and glass of red - red wine is good for you, right? The glasses of red were becoming a habit every time he sat down after work and soon became his "stress medicine". The belly didn't bother him so much when he was winning cases and making loads of money - he knew he had knees. Every couple of months a moderate attempt to lose the belly was made by changes to his diet and the introduction of "sit-ups" to his morning ritual - 20-30-50 sit-ups. The more he could do, the better he felt. He ordered the pasta at dinner now instead of the steak, took low fat milk with his 2 sugars in his coffee, chose the minties instead of the chocolate, and the Diet Coke, Guarana drink, and Red Bull when he needed a boost of energy in his day. These soon became a daily habit. He began waking at 2.00 or 3.00am unable to go back to sleep. His now frequent energy lows during the day were fixed quickly by popping a mint and started keeping some sweets in his desk drawer - not only did it boost his energy but improved his focus. He felt re-charged. One day, he arrived home, parked his "Beemer" beside his wife's 4WD Merc in the garage, and greeted his wife who was waiting for him. The greeting was quickly followed by, "We need to talk." Expecting to hear something about the kids at school, he settled into his comfortable lounge with a glass of red. She told him that she was tired of being something that he came home to like the house, dinner, or the television. There was no connection any more. She was lonely and missed the person she married. Where had he gone? His
reply was one of total shock. "But I didn't know you weren't
happy. You've got everything you want and a beautiful house. Don't
you want to go to France this year?" Gung offered to go and stay with his parents during this difficult time so that the kids wouldn't be disturbed. He loved his wife - always had since their first meeting. He was so shocked by her announcement that he couldn't go into the office for the remainder of the week - the first time ever. He didn't run - he didn't want to do anything. The pit of his stomach had dropped to his knees. His parents took him in and reclaimed him as their son, caring for him as they did over 20 years ago. He followed them out to the field in the mornings like a lost puppy and watched the beautiful synergy of their work together. They were synchronized in everything they did. Feeling a little guilty just watching them work, he offered to help. At least when he was doing something, there was some respite in his self-amortizing. He was astonished at how strong and supple both his mother and father were and marvelled at their abillity to work all day at a consistent pace - something he soon noticed he couldn't do. Frequent rests for Gung gave him time to notice just how out of condition he was. They all shared the morning and afternoon teas with flashbacks and laughter when recounting cherished times of their much younger years when Gung was just a little boy. The meals were as he remembered - fresh, colourful, full of flavour and satisfying. He noticed that he longed for a glass of wine after dinner and something sweet in the afternoon, though.There was no alcohol in the house so he had an apple at those times instead. Alcohol was something the Ho's enjoyed on Sundays only. The four days spent with his parents showed him much more than he ever learned at law school. His office didn't call - no-one called. It dawned on him that he really didn't have friends and just maybe when his colleagues asked how he was going, they were referring to the deadline his was working on. When he socialised, it was always about work. Without the work, there was no connection. He also realized that he had been racing around so 'successfully' that he hadn't noticed any of these voids until he was calm and still at his parents home. He now appreciated that the important things in life all had soft edges and a heart beat. His wife, his children, his parents, were the most important things in his life. His work was his choice - necessary - but a choice all the same. His work was not his life. He was ready to talk with his wife now and re-introduce himself to her as 'Robert'. The
children had gone over to their friends houses for the weekend.
Gung arrived at his home with the same nervousness as he had when
picking up Sequoia for the senior prom. His wife greeted him like
a long lost twin. She could see the commitment in his eyes and
the desire to do whatever it took to keep what was precious close
to him. One of the important things that Sequoia helped him notice was that he had allowed his health to slip into the background. She helped him see how his current life habits would take him away from her and the family prematurely if he didn't change them by putting a little bit of effort towards maintaining good health habits. Like most men, Gung never went to the doctor - never had to. "Unless my right arm falls off, I don't need a doctor", was his edict. He figured he'd know if he was sick. But Sequoia begged, "Please Robert, have a medical assessment." Now that he was nodding to everything she said, he agreed to find out where the family doctor was and have the assessment. The medical assessment was done. The results came back with some alarming indicators. The doctor requested a face to face appointment to discuss them. Gung was worried so he made the appointment as soon as possible. The doctor read out the results and then interpretted them bluntly: "In short, Robert, change your eating habits, your drinking habits, your work habits, your rest habits ....... and send a thank you bunch of flowers to your parents for giving you good genes that have withstood the barrage of abuse, denial, and lack of respect you have dished out during your adult years. Basically, if you don't make these changes, you won't see your kids graduate from school." Sequoia nodded knowingly when he recounted the doctors warning. She was pleased that now Gung might take some serious steps to insure against chronic and deadly disease through a change in lifestyle habits. He had taken the steps to make sure the family was well protected financially with insurances covering everything catastrophic including tornados, mud slides, and "accidental demolition" of their home. The liklihood of such events occurring in their lifetime was perhaps 1 in a million if he ran over a black cat, poured all the salt onto the table and stepped on a crack under a ladder on Friday 13th. He also had health insurance, income protection insurance, and death insurance, which is only redeemable after death. He had enough financial coverage to fund the fireworks on New Years Eve in Sydney when he died. Sequoia and the children would be very comfortable during their grieving process. What he didn't have was illness protection - the most worthwhile health insurance that doesn't cost an arm and a leg - literally. This kind of insurance money can't buy. He didn't know about this because the insurance broker didn't have this as an option in his large portfolio of choices. Others usually notice the early changes in people long before they are accepted as real by the body bearing the "unhealthy billboard". And others had noticed Gung changing over the years. Such visible changes were accepted as normal and so not spoken about. It is normal if it is happening to the majority of the population. He was expanding at a normal rate. Sequoia's
response to his medical disclosure was comforting. "Yes,
I agree that you have to change your life and health habits and
I know what will do it for you.". Gung
pondered this bizarre notion of waking up dead one day and agreed.
"Fair enough - I had never thought about being able to do
something that pushed the risks even further away before the medical
tests found it. How do I begin my recovery?" Six
weeks is all it took to get some very motivating results: Gung
now has normal range blood pressure, his blood profile is well
within normal ranges and has healthy sustainable health habits
including walking - not running - yet. His belly has reduced significantly
and continues to reduce with each passing week. His energy and
focus have increased and he leaps out of bed not to go for a run
but because he wakes feeling refreshed and happy. Sundays are
spent with the family and sometimes with his parents. He doesn't
go anywhere near his office on the weekends and comes home to
enjoy a tasty and satisfying evening meal with his family before
settling the kids into bed and spending some relaxed time with
his wife. Oh - by the way: As you might remember, Gung was not his real name. He was given that name due to his "Gung-Ho" way of running around like a madman when he was little. He prefers to be called Robert today. Oh - by the by the way: You
might also remember that Sequoia is not his wife's real name,
either. She became known as Sequoia when her grandmother noticed
her behaviour as a small child. So much like the tall, strong
and long lived Redwoods was she, that the name was given to her.
Her name is Jennie, but prefers to be called Sequoia today. I
will leave you with a couple of duckisms: Here
is what I know...... there are three things in life, irrespective
of race, creed, or age that we all know to be true. 2. We DON'T know how. 3. We DON'T know when. There are four things that I have witnessed to be true. 1. There are worse things than death that are possible for every body. 2. Everyone can turn their bad health habits around to be good health habits with very little effort. 3. Good health habits can be achieved with everyday food and moderate exercise - it won't cost you an arm and a leg. 4.
Good health habits work every time - so forgiving is the body.
1. wake you up from your slumber 2. get you to lift your head above the herd and 3.
encourage you to walk to a different beat from that which the
majority is walking. |
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THE STORY OF GUNG